Touts Charter revealed

[Gordon McIvor Wilson]

Now we know. Our fearless journalistas and courageous members of the commentariat were right on the button with their selfless revelations of murky dealings in the seamier backrooms of the world's footie rulers.

Has the World Cup voting system overtaken that other global sporti-politico challenge, The European Song Contest? 'Nul points' strikes again and our luckless champions sit there in the grand hall and have to take it.

Blatter-balls strikes hard and fast, surrounded by his cohorts of self-serving, nest-feathering international 'sportsmen'. I await with interest the response of British sports journos - the fightback starts here.

More to come when the valiant members of the Sports Exchange thaw out their keyboards. Meanwhile, we have nothing but praise and admiration for our sporting expeditionary force out there on the Yukka, Gabba, or wherever antipodeian they may be. All conducted in a spirit of good humour and sportsmanship (oh, well, 'Punter' Ponting excepted of course) so unlike yesterday's farago of spite, the 'beautiful game' - bollocks!

[Gordon McIvor Wilson]

Good for Boris, he's withdrawn the London Olympics invite to the FIFA gang, no grande luxe extravagance at our expense. Didnt know footie was an Olympic 'sport' anyway.

Though my mole in the Grand Master community tells me that Tzar Putin is pushing for Chess to be included next time (2016 I guess, now cant wait for the voting on that one - or has it already happened?)

The Sports Exchange Definition of a non-sport: an activity where competitors wear slacks and a belt. Sorry, darts afficionada.